THE ZOM ZOM CHRONICLES chapter 10 Extreme Couponing (With A Chance of Death by Soup Can)

THE ZOM ZOM CHRONICLES chapter 10 Extreme Couponing (With A Chance of Death by Soup Can)

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MISSION: EXTREME COUPONING

ARMORED BY VOGUE

"HIGH-DENSITY GLOSSY PAPER OFFERS MODERATE BITE PROTECTION."

> ARMOR: Magazine-taped forearms

> WEAPONRY: Spatula belt / Nerf "Peacemaker"

> TARGETS: Water filters, Coffee, Batteries

ENVIRONMENT: THE STREET

BEYOND THE LOBBY

The air smelled of smoke and rot. We passed the Yoga studio—Stretchy Zoms in perpetual Downward Dog.

SENSORY DATA:

Silence broken by wet shuffling. Sal's "OPEN" sign flickering. Smashed windows like jagged teeth.

EVENT: PROJECTILE PHASE

CLEANUP IN AISLE 3

"NYYYYYYOOOOOO CASH."

Sal was a machine. He hurled Campbell’s Chunky Soup with MLB-level velocity.

CASUALTIES:

* Dave: Hit by canned peaches (Chest bruise).

* Brenda: 14 keyboard keys lost to Mushroom Soup deflection.

DOSSIER: SAL THE BODEGA ZOM

MERCHANT-CLASS GHOUL

ATTACK: "The Chunky Barrage"

STRENGTHS: Home Field Advantage / Dead-eye aim with Goya beans.

WEAKNESSES: Stationary / Confused by thrown currency.

INTEL: NEIGHBORHOOD MAP

OPERATION COFFEE RUN

[ N ] | [ W ]----[ E ] <- Compass Rose | [ S ] ============================================================= MAIN STREET (BROADWAY) - [DANGER ZONE] ============================================================= | | | | | (A) | | (B) | | | | | ------+------+------+------+------ [ALLEYWAY - "SAFE"] | | | | [HOME]|->->->|->->->|->(C) | [BASE]|<-<-<-|<-<-<-|<-<-<-| | | | | ---------------------------------- [ELM STREET] **LEGEND:** (A) Yoga Studio | (B) Apple Store | (C) SAL'S BODEGA
STATUS: POST-SORTIE

CAFFEINE AT LAST

SUCCESS:

COFFEE ACQUIRED. BATTERIES SECURED.

WARNING:

The noise from the energy drink display collapse has drawn attention. Shuffling below the window is increasing.

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