Chapter 23, the logic behind the keypad puzzle, and the horrifying truth about the Jalapeño Cheese Spread.
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"PASSWORD123" IS INVALID
[ STATUS: PANIC ]
THE BREACH
- > DATE: Thursday Night (Time is an illusion. Only panic remains.)
- > MOOD: Sweaty, breathless, and done with camping.
- > STATUS: Locked in a bunker. I think we won?
The Command Tent was officially failing its structural integrity test.
RIIIIIP.
The heavy canvas entrance tore open. A Kevlar-gloved hand the size of a catcher's mitt reached through, grasping blindly. Another Juggernaut pushed its helmeted head through the gap. Its visor was cracked, and the wet, rhythmic Zom. Zom. Zom. echoed inside its helmet like a horrific bass drop.
"We have thirty seconds before they breach the perimeter!" Joe yelled, swinging his tire iron at the intruding arm. CLANG. The Juggernaut didn't care.
I stood beside Joe, jabbing my pointy stick at the gap. It was like trying to stop a bulldozer with a toothpick.
THE ESCAPE ROOM FROM HELL
At the back of the tent, Brenda was standing in front of the massive, steel blast door. Set into the concrete wall next to it was an electronic keypad.
"Brenda!" Dave shrieked from under the desk. "Hack it! Do the movie thing where you cross the wires!"
"I am an HR Manager, David, not a cyber-terrorist," Brenda snapped. "I need data. Look for a sticky note. A white board. People are inherently lazy with security protocols."
I abandoned my stick and started tossing papers off the folding tables. Maps flew everywhere. Dave crawled out from under the desk and started opening drawers.
"Twenty seconds!" Joe roared, kicking the table back down as the pinned Juggernaut tried to rise.
FORENSIC CLUE DETECTED
"Look at the keypad!" Dave yelled. "Look at the wear and tear!"
Brenda leaned in. "He's right. The matte finish is worn off the 2, 0, 4, and 8 keys. The oils from human fingers have polished them."
"We don't have time for a brute-force attack," Brenda said. "If I enter the wrong code three times, it triggers a lockout. I need the sequence."
THE EPIPHANY
Dave was clutching a clipboard he’d pulled from the desk drawer. He shoved it at Brenda.
"Wait," Dave gasped. "The radio transmission... it said 'Protocol...' This paper says Protocol 8042!"
Brenda's fingers flew over the keypad: 8 - 0 - 4 - 2.
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. [ACCESS DENIED]
"Think!" Brenda commanded herself. "Military hierarchy. Routine. When was this base established?"
"August 24th?" Dave guessed wildly. 0 - 8 - 2 - 4.
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. [ACCESS DENIED]
Two strikes. One more wrong guess, and we were locked out forever. The Juggernaut under the table stood up. The tent flap completely gave way. Three heavily armored zombies stumbled in.
"The date," Brenda whispered. "David, look at the top right corner of the requisition form. What is the Base Commander's Unit Designation?"
"Uh... 204th Infantry Brigade? Support Battalion 8?"
Brenda didn't hesitate. She punched the keys. 2 - 0 - 4 - 8.
THUNK. [ACCESS GRANTED]
"GO!" Brenda screamed. We slammed the steel door shut just as three armored bodies slammed against the other side. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
PUZZLE LOGIC: POST-MORTEM
Here is Brenda’s breakdown of how we didn't die:
THE CLUE (VISUAL)
The numbers 2, 0, 4, and 8 were the only keys with the matte finish worn off.
THE CLUE (CONTEXTUAL)
Dave found the Base Commander's logistics clipboard in the desk drawer.
THE TRAP
Protocol 8042 was listed as a radio frequency code, not a door code.
THE SOLUTION
The military is obsessed with unit pride. The Base Commander was from the 204th Infantry, Battalion 8. (2048).
HR TAKEAWAY:
Brenda has formally requested that all future passwords be alphanumeric and changed every 30 days, even during the apocalypse.
CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT
Dave brought the clipboard with him. I clicked on my flashlight and read it in the dark stairwell. We finally know what happened to the Safe Zone.
THE AFTERMATH
Status Update: We are sitting on the cold concrete stairs.
I looked at Dave. Dave looked at me. He had been complaining about wanting the Jalapeño Cheese Spread since we left the apartment.
"Dave," I whispered. "You almost ended us for processed cheese."
Dave hugged his knees. "I just really like spicy dairy, man."
Brenda clicked on her heavy flashlight. The beam illuminated a long, concrete stairwell spiraling deep into the earth.
"Hydrate," Brenda ordered. "Then we descend."