THE ZOM ZOM CHRONICLES chapter 15 ( The H.M.S. Tetanus (We Are Building a Boat!)
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THE H.M.S. TETANUS
WE ARE BUILDING A BOAT!
> MOOD: INDUSTRIAL. GREASY. HOPEFUL?
> CURRENT STATUS: WELDING SOMETHING ILLEGAL.
CRITICAL WARNING:
The bridge is a bomb. The Army rigged it to keep the "sickos" out of the Safe Zone. Road travel is 0% viable.
"The current is too strong to swim, and the water is probably toxic sludge by now."
THE MERGER
Brenda didn't look like a survivor anymore. She looked like a CEO closing a merger. She played the "Buster Card" perfectly.
JOE'S PRICE:
- * Safety for Buster (The Dog)
- * Heartworm Medication
- * Recognition of the "Chain-link Limitation"
"I can build you a barge," Joe said. "Ugly. Slow. But it floats."
WORK MONTAGE
Cue the 80s rock. Sparks are flying. Grease is everywhere.
Architect & Welding Torch Artist.
Project Manager & Alloy Specialist.
Gopher & Hood Ornament Collector.
Safety Supervisor (Bopped the Dog).
THE IRON DUCK
SPECS:
* Chassis: Welded car hoods
* Pontoons: 12 Blue Plastic Barrels
* Railing: Recycled exhaust pipes
* Seating: Minivan Bucket Seat
TACTICAL RISK:
The motor is LOUD. Once it starts, every Zom on the waterfront is going to hear us.
SURVIVOR PROFILE
NAME: JOE SCRAP
WEAPON: Heavy Pipe Wrench
SKILL: Fixing anything with duct tape and swearing.
WEAKNESS: Buster (Rottweiler).
BLUEPRINTS
[ THE S.S. RUSTY BUCKET ]
(BOW - FRONT)
/===========\ <-- Reinforced Ram
| [DAVE] | <-- Lookout Spot
| [ JOE ] | <-- Engineering
|_____________|
| [BRENDA] | <-- Captain Chair
| [ ME ] | <-- Ballast
|_____________|
| [WHISKERS] | <-- High Ground
| [BUSTER] |
\_____________/
| |
[ MOTOR ] <-- 1998 Evinrude
LAUNCH PREP
SYSTEM CHECK:
[ MOTOR: SMOKY ]
[ FUEL: SUFFICIENT ]
[ CREW: SLEEPING ]
TOMORROW, WE BECOME PIRATES.